I don't like his friends. They always doing the wrong stuff and making bad decisions...He wants me to be his girl. Should I get into a relationship with him?
It's not impossible but it could take some real consideration about what you want from the relationship. What are the ingredients for having a relationship that you'll be happy and satisfied with? You have to determine this with the information you have available. Here are some points I'd like to raise for boththe potential boyfriend as well as the girl friend...
[To the man...]
Following the wrong crowd, wrong influences, and not having the insight to build a better something for yourself can lead to a ladies lack of confidence in your ability to lead them.
If your foundation is not secure (working toward what is safe, practical, supportive, and empowering)..how can you expect to bring another into that world successfully?
Work on self, evaluate what is healthy and a good approach for your life to acheive real stability then in process incude another seems like the better approach ..
You may discover that your lives compliment each other in facilitating an environment for growth. It becomes more apparent in this process.. rather than being destructive. If in process of considering if it could work out, you discover that re-evaluation of your current life choices is necessary to achieve mutual greatness...so be it.
[To the Men and Women]
Cheap thrills are not the same as having a dependable person to rely on and be accountable too. The merits of a true candidate for relationship I think are the person's efforts to work on themselves..
"Work on self" means evaluating what is healthy and a good approach for your life to acheive real stability then in process of your growth include another in it..
My genuine thoughts about relationships are that your lives should compliment each other's goals and interests rather than being destructive to them. If in process, re-evaluation is necessary to achieve mutual greatness...so be it.
Can you identify these in the suitor? Does his personal choices reflect stability, support, and a foundation that you have peace with? Are his associations bringing him up or pulling him down? Do you have enough influence in his life to encourage him to be more? Or him yours? Perhaps the real issues of what the budding relationship will need to grow can be discovered as you both explore your values in more detail. Often a good counselor can help to clarify your efforts together.
Want to explore this in more detail?
Schedule an appointment: (405)748-0091.
Calvin Smith MA
Licensed Professional Counselor