<![CDATA[EMERGING CHRISTIANS - Winning at Relationships]]>

<![CDATA[EMERGING CHRISTIANS - Winning at Relationships]]>Sat, 15 Nov 2025 22:45:22 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[She said, " I want a boyfriend. But I don't know how to get one, and wouldn't know how to spot him if he was in from of me..Any suggestions?]]]>Fri, 04 May 2018 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/she-said-i-want-a-boyfriend-but-i-dont-know-how-to-get-one-and-wouldnt-know-how-to-spot-him-if-he-was-in-from-of-meany-suggestions

She said, " I want a boyfriend.
But I don't know how to get one, and wouldn't know how to spot him if he was in from of me...Any suggestions?]

How to get a boyfriend starts with understanding what you want out of a relationship first. Without having a proper perspective of what you want it is hard to avoid picking any random person. It's important to have clear insight on why you are making your choices to avoid getting caught up in a moment with just anybody for any reason.

Mind you that a good choice for you may not always be based in their education, career, financial stability, race, or nationality.. Heck..physical, material factors don't set the bar on some of the more intrinsic needs that establish a baseline for the success of a relationship. It's a good start to clarify these things out first before you start going on dates.

[I have a relationship workgroup available that works on these that meets on Saturdays if you want more information please inbox me.]

How to get a man...

If we were to observe every animal in the wild kingdom we would observe that they have a way of courting each other. From the bird to the dog...all have a ritual that they engage in to come together. Similarly when it comes to the human species... looks, behaviors, style of dress, body language, conversation, presentation all play a part in successfully intriguing someone to connect with another or not. Understanding the kind of man you want will help you to understand how to present yourself to gain that man's attention and vice versa.

How to Recognize Him:

You have a need to have a boyfriend. You have recognized it. That is a good start.. But recognizing that man that is what you are looking for still seems unclear. Here is an approach that may help you become more confident in your ability to recognize the one. I think that one of the biggest steps.. a first step in you getting the relationship that you want is owning what you want.. But... what are the motivators behind that need for a boyfriend? Figuring this out may become the outline from which your compass may point you in the direction of the type of companion you are seeking. It will help you recognize that man when he makes himself available to you.

Here is an excercise...write down the motivators for why you want a relationship. After you have written these down...step back from you list for 30 minutes or so and come back to your list.. take time to evaluate why you want what you want. Are these really the things that you need to secure the satisfaction of being in a committed relationship? That blunt dose of honesty in what you want can also become a clue about how truly ready you are for a relationship.

Let's take a step back from it being so personal...objectively speaking.. What are the factors that make up a satisfying relationship? When you invision relationship what does it feel like? What do you observe in it? How do people relate to each other? Solve problems together..support one another? What are your needs for affection? Questions like these I believe can give a person more clarity of focus in regards to how to spot what they desire in a relationship. There are also stages to courtship to keep in perspective...rushing from introduction to advanced stages of relationship without any kind of discretion can have wreckless outcomes. Discernment is gift that keeps on giving. Developing this gift in you can have rewards that offer more than merely "liking what you see" or "love at first sight experiences" A person can continue to line up their level of interaction with thier identified motivators to establish a baseline for a suitable mate versus an unacceptable one.

[Include A Good Mentor]

This said...after writing down your truest reasons for wanting a relationship ask a trusted friend, someone objective and skilled in relationships (like a relationship based pastor, counselor, or a friend in the kind of relationship that you want) to help review that list. Save yourself the heartache of accepting people in your life that mean you no good. Understanding your heart better can help you ward off the insincere opportunist.

For more information about my relationship workgroups on Saturdays inbox me.

Calvin Smith MA
Licensed Professional Counselor

]]><![CDATA[(Let's Talk about Love) Weekend Workshops]]>Thu, 03 May 2018 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/welcome-to-our-fall-2016-membership-drive

Do something for yourself & something for someone else..

Let'st talk about love.
Saturdays:
9am -10am

Become a Member

]]><![CDATA[Announcing the May 25th, Relationship Breakout Workshop!]]>Thu, 03 May 2018 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/announcing-the-september-17th-relationship-breakout-workshop

Final Day of Registration! (May 20th)

Registration closes Friday, May 25,2018 at 7pm or 1900 hours. Will receive calls up until 8pm..($25.00)

3000 United Founders Blvd,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112.
(405)748-0091.

Announcing the May 25th Relationship Breakout Workshop! This is an event you don't want to miss. May your relationship be greatly enriched by this experience. Register today. There is limited space available. Registration will not be available the day of the workshop.

]]><![CDATA[Announcing the EC Communication Course!!]]>Tue, 01 May 2018 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/announcing-the-ec-communication-course

Registration

Have you had challenges being on the same page with your significant other? This course is designed to help you to broaden your understanding of communication and presents practical principles to help you develop your effectiveness in communicating in your personal and family relationship settings.

This 6 week course can be registered for at our
1. Office Location:
3000 United Founders Blvd,
Oklahoma City, OK 73112
2. Online (from the convenience of your home.)

*EC Communication Workbook is a requirement of this course and is available at our store.

]]><![CDATA[My Boyfriend [Girlfriend] wants me to stop talking to everybody I know as Part of Our Commitment. Should I?]]>Tue, 10 Apr 2018 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/my-boyfriend-girlfriend-wants-me-to-stop-talking-to-everybody-i-know-as-part-of-our-commitment-should-i

My Boyfriend [Girlfriend] wants me to stop talking to everybody I know as Part of Our Commitment. Should I??

- Discussing Isolation, Friendships, and The perfect Guy/Girl:

[Answer]

Don't be so quick to cut off your friends....new friends should not replace old friends IF they were really friends...

If your new friend demands the forfeiture of old friends, family, coworkers... is their maturity at the level where they can really handle being in a relationship with you?

If you are being isolated...find yourself alone and disconnected from everyone that may be a sign that you are being manipulated by that person rather than relating in a respectable and satisfying way. Is there an alterior motive? Possibly. It's hard to say without looking at other factors....things that come out during counseling
.
Your life experiences should be enhanced not restricted by a relationship. A relationship should not feel like punishment. When is the last time you smiled because of that person?Reflected on something nice they did for you?WHAT are you really wanting from your relationship? What do you believe you should be getting from it? Is that person holding up their end of the deal? Are you holding up yours?What will it take to make things work out between the two of you and do you both have the resolve to try?

Friendships...the true one's generally don't destroy a genuine relationship. They are like people appointed with your life that at times God uses to speak life to you.
If your afraid of Every single person that you have in your life like they may be a threat to your relationship then you may not have developed a healthy filter that would allow you to distinguish clearly the difference between a toxic or healthy friend...The same thing can be said if your partner feels threatened by every person you know..they may not have built a healthy filter either.
Of course boundaries should be set with friends...and real friends get that. The one's you probably want to lose are the one's that don't respect you or the person you have decided to be with...however...every action that is taken by your "boo thang" is not above the scrutiny of a caring friend...that's how it goes. We live we learn, we grow... *C.

If you feel like you have to sneak to talk with people outside of your relationship that is another sign that maybe your not as honest and open with your partner as you'd like to believe you are. Maybe practicing honesty, openness and accountability with your partner is another marker for your own personal growth. Additionally, if you have an irresistible urge to not share who you talk with because you are afraid of the consequences...I would have to ask you....Is that really your ideal way of relating? Is that how you want life to be between the two of you? I think you are already looking for an out...you just haven't figured it out yet....the out does not necessarily mean that you want to terminate the relationship...but it does mean that you are looking for something to shift in your relationship's experience. So that means it's something worth taking a closer look at.

Are you ready to take that look?
Schedule an appointment. (405)748-0091.

]]><![CDATA[We are so far apart from one another. He doesn't get it..What can I do?]]>Wed, 28 Mar 2018 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/we-are-so-far-apart-from-one-another-he-doesnt-get-itwhat-can-i-do

We are so far apart from one another. He doesn't get it..What can I do?

Become a Member

[Answer]
Men are not mind readers. (Neither are women) You cannot expect for a man to give you what you want if you haven't expressed what is important to you. While people can be intuitive, the process of learning a person enough to understand thier needs starts with being open enough to communicate your value system with them. If it is important enough for you to want in your life consistently be willing to express it to your significant other. Real satisfaction in a relationship begins with being open about what you need.

There is more to this approach than what I have discussed here but it's too lengthy to write out.
Are you having challenges with the quality of your relationship's experiences?

Schedule an appointment. (405)748-0091.
Now accepting new clients.
[Event Coming Up]
I have a Relationship Breakout Sessons Workshop coming up..September 17th.
Register for it. The information link is below
Calvin Smith MA
Licensed Professional Counselor

]]><![CDATA["I Think I am Not Going to do Relationships Anymore. They always seem to end up in disappointment. I am tired of giving my all to jerks. But I am lonely...What Should I do?"]]>Fri, 23 Mar 2018 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/i-think-i-am-not-going-to-do-relationships-anymore-they-always-seem-to-end-up-in-disappointment-i-am-tired-of-giving-my-all-to-jerks-but-i-am-lonelywhat-should-i-do

"I think I am not going to do relationships anymore. They always seem to end up in disappointment. I am tired of giving my all to jerks. But I am lonely...what should I do?"

[Answer]

It's sounds like a very disappointing and frustrating place to be...but it also sounds like your being responsible with yourself to take time to think about what you want out of a relationship. The good news I like to consider is that my "storms don't last always". Although sometimes we may feel like hiding our heart and withdrawing from life after experiencing the emotional impact of a breakup or disappointment of some sorts, being fully emotionally and mentally available is necessary for us (in my opinion) to share our love with our partner, friends, and family. Withdrawing for long periods of time can not only make us bitter, it can isolate us if we are not careful. While taking a little time to reorganize may give us a minute to grieve the loss, we should also consider that we have very good qualities to offer as well. In order to share them however, we must believe in the quality of our good we have within ourselves to offer...which can be difficult after the disappointment of relationships that have gone a different way...

The truth is...that life goes on. Inspite of our pains we still have the opportunity to have something great with someone that we cultivate it with...

That person may be a good person, just not the person for you. In similar fashion...You are still a great person, just maybe not that great person for that set of last somebodies. But maybe you were great for them... Just not the great in the way you thought it was going to turn out relationship wise.. Being great doesn't have a contingency plan...you are you and the person that gets that will value you for your strengths as well as your weaknesses. While we can't control the perceptions of others, our greatness is demonstrated not by what we've been through...but how we go through it. Being emotionally and mentally available for someone doesn't just give them a better quality experience with you, it can give you a better quality of experiences as well. The Bible says it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts20:35) when it's done in a grounded, balanced way of relating...

Sometimes the help of a grounded friend, family member, or even a counselor like myself can help process through the tough stuff when you're ready to get to that grounded part... It's interesting to observe that sometimes it seems the world doesn't blossom for us until we blossom first in it. Taking the exhaustion out of being available in a future relationship means being able to give that next person a fair shake and an accurate representation of the person you are.. That means our filters needs to be aligned to operate in a situationally balanced way versus just basing our relationship decisions and expression on our past history. Life is filled with learning. Our discoveries and refinements about ourselves reveal keys to living that make what was impossible at one level of awareness in our personal lives possible at another.

New day...new opportunities...new choices...the future holds blessings. But I have realized that I must also be mature enough to recognize when blessings come to gain the benefits of them.. C.

Would you like to schedule an appointment?
Now accepting clients (405)748-0091.
Calvin Smith MA,
Licensed Professional Counselor

]]><![CDATA["I Used to Love him but We Broke Up. Now I Can't Stand Him. Why Do I Hate Him So Much !?!"]]>Mon, 05 Mar 2018 08:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/i-used-to-love-him-but-we-broke-up-now-i-cant-stand-him-why-do-i-hate-him-so-much

"I used to love him but we broke up.. Now I can't stand him. Why do I hate him so much?!?"

[Answer]
Sometimes people use anger to distance themselves emotionally from the pain and disappointment of a breakup. As they reorganize their lives they try their level best to keep from drowning in the sea of resurfacing responsibilities of being single again...but here are somethings to consider about remaining stuck in that place of defense fueled by anger.
1.
If you have to hate someone in order to distance yourself from them then you may not have been ready to handle the responsibility of knowing that person to begin with... In some instances people with ulterior motives condemn people when it doesn't go their way. But people that have a genuine healthy perspective about you from the start will respect your decisions without punishing you for them. Which one are you portraying? Were you more about manipulating than relating to this person? I know it's a really sensitive topic and it can really bring up hurtful memories but the truth is...if it does perhaps seeing a professional counselor like myself ca help you to process through these negative feelings till you can handle yourself and the other person's choices in a healthier way.

2.
Learning to "agree to disagree" can be the beginning of a healthy style of relating that allows room for other levels of relationship beyond marital. Not all relationship should end in marriage nor should they end in becoming mortal enemies..ijs A person should not be held under your thumb (held a grudge against) just because they followed a different path other than choosing you should they? Just like you deserve a right to choose equally that same right should be extended to another. Right? A lifetime grudge is a heavy weight to bear. Some things are easier to accept when you come to terms with the fact that people have a right to live and make their choices just like you.

[Ways to Get Over it]

This said, the Bible reminds us to cast our cares upon him for he careth for us. (1 Peter5:7) If we find ourselves in "hateration" instead of respecting someone's right to choose then maybe we aren't trusting God with the path and design of our lives as much as we'd like to think we are. Let me remind you that God has a good plan for you that will come to pass. Don't let one unexpected event turn you into the devil you pray against experiencing in your life. Overcome evil with good. Overcome hate with love. Gaining a friend is better then wasting valuable time trying to be an enemy of someone that isn't even focused on you like that. Time to put the weights down, accept and believe in the faithfulness of God for your life. Claim it without fear and doubt. And wish that person well in their life...move on. Your blessing is coming. Learning to be a quality person isn't always easy but practicing quality is an attribute that can help you be true to yourself as well as the person you were meant for. The responsibility to cultivate your own maturity does not go away just because things didn’t work out with that guy. You have to take ownership of your own life. Life goes on. Give yourself more room to cultivate the life you want by extending respect to another instead of hate. Dealing with the feelings side of it can be a hard pill to swallow but ultimately if you weighed it out, you may find it necessary in order to have the life that you want. Counseling can help to get through the tough stuff. If you are having difficulty handling it alone, you don't have too.

Now accepting clients.

Call for an appointment:
(405)748-0091
Calvin Smith MA
Licensed Professional Counselor

]]><![CDATA[Become a Supporter of Healthy Relationships Today.]]>Wed, 31 Jan 2018 08:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/become-a-supporter

Are these topic discussions helpful? Want to read more topics like these?? Become a Member. Support our relationship initiative at Emerging Christians.
Thank you in advance.
Be Blessed.

Give here

]]><![CDATA[After the Relationship...The Aftermath.]]>Fri, 05 Jan 2018 08:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/after-the-relationship

After the Relationship..
The Aftermath...
It takes a mature person to know if they are ready to move on towards seeing other people or not after two people have decided to part ways. If the person was violent, it may be in the person's best interest to develop a safety plan for them and theirs....if they weren't it is still important for them to recognize their place in the grieving process...

The loss of a relationship that a person invested so much of their heart and dreams in can make them feel awkward, even a little taken back and discouraged about their time, energy, effort lost as well as their ability to make a sound decision for choosing a partner that will do right by them. It's important to develop a healthy filter by distinguishing the difference between what factors played into what's on you (what was your failings) versus what was on the other person. Maybe it was nothing that you did at all...maybe it was just them in their own values and needs that lead them to other personal choices....(that they also have a right to have)... Picking up the pieces of your life means more than just waiting for someone else to come around to decide if they want you back. It is also an opportunity for self development....In my opinion ...it means taking the steps to further understand yourself...realigning all those thoughts, feelings, dreams, and visions you may have had in a way that you can move forward and thrive in your life and relationships regardless of these unexpected changes. Letting that person have their own life and taking back your own in that same process of respect so that you can be an asset to another when you are ready to entertain the development of another relationship. Confidence in ones own ability to make sound decisions that govern their own relationship is something that isn't negotiable when it comes to having a satisfying relationship.

As for an interested party waiting in the wings...a person that "get's you" will be able to understand your process and be patient and supportive with you not demanding and forceful....even if it means that in the end you may not choose to be with them. They may be just a part to play in your healing process of rediscovering yourself...as a friend. But a real friend that cares about you probably will accept that and be ok with you anyway...just my 2 cents for a general perspective of course.. if a person is having challenges getting over a relationship, through a change in status.... counseling can also help to make things clearer. Praying for your peace. C.

Would you like to talk on a personal level about what your going through? Relationship challenges?

I am currently accepting clients.
(405) 748-0091.

Calvin Smith, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor,
Ordained Christian Counselor

]]><![CDATA[Is Chivalry Dead?]]>Sat, 10 Sep 2016 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/is-chivalry-dead

Is Chivalry Dead?
Expecting the right thing from someone that is not motivated to do right can be quite disappointing. The question evolves into...

[Answer]

Expecting the right thing from someone that is not motivated to do right can be quite disappointing. The question evolves into "Is this the person that really is my best choice for me to receive what I am longing for? If it is..we have to accept that some experiences require a season of giving before we reap the kind of experiences we long for. There is a learning curve for some that takes longer than others...

Then ask yourself "Do I have within me what it will take to see that day when we will be able to give those things to each other at the levels needed on a daily basis, (for better or worse)?

Chivalry is not dead...it's more about where and how you may be looking for it. *C.

]]><![CDATA[Is Your Relationship Always "On"? Cultivating Your Relationship Without Micro-Managing It.]]>Sat, 10 Sep 2016 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/is-your-relationship-always-on-cultivating-your-relationship-without-micro-managing-it

Is your relationship always "on"? Always "on" in your relationship does not make it better. Avoiding micro-management.

(Strategies to avoid micro-management of your relationship is found in the membership section.)

Become a member today to get access to this post and many others...

]]><![CDATA[Do You Need a Marriage Officiant?]]>Fri, 09 Sep 2016 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/do-you-need-a-marriage-officiant

-Wedding Officiant Services-

Pre-Marital Foundations
Pre-marriage classes and Wedding Officiate Services

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]]><![CDATA[Why am I meeting so many people but none of them are turning out to be someone I can spend my life with?]]>Fri, 09 Sep 2016 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/why-am-i-meeting-so-many-people-but-none-of-them-are-turning-out-to-be-someone-i-can-spend-my-life-with

Finding Your Mate
On Dating: Why am I meeting so many people but none of them are turning out to be someone I can spend my life with?

[Answer]
How are you evaluating what's best for your life in your dating selection? What eyes are you looking with? By that I mean that you have your natural attractions to you see physically/materially. For example, How they look, What they have,what they do for a living, the type of friends they have... but there is another kind of sight equally important to consider. This sight can equate to how they treat you. It gives you the ability to hear how they listen to you, care for the things that matter to you, have the insight to help you through things...this kind of sight doesn't ignore your needs to respect yourself. In fact, the only way to see clearly if someone is loving you as that ideal mate is to practice loving yourself first. It is hard to see through blind eyes. Through loving yourself you can both give and know when love is truly being given to you. The mastery of developing self love means developing the filters to understand how love works in fulfilling both your mutual needs respectfully past lustful passions, ideas of materialistic gain, or social influences that encompass only what you see (physically instead of seeing with your soul) about others.
The other things I'd like to mention is that a relationship with God serves a purpose. It not only can give you peace about your existence it can also help you to develop a lens through which to see yourself and see others. This lens can also serve as a point of reference through which to govern how you treat others and yourself. Through this lens a satisfying relationship can be developed in context of your frame of reference as you meet a person of interest. Discovering and maintaining a relationship with a person "equally yoked" (that is really a good fit for you, and you for them) is one of these extraordinary benefits that comes through establishing a relationship with God. He helps us with our self development and readiness for commitment through his principles ..God is more than just for show.
Would you like to schedule an appointment for relationship counseling?
Call (405)748-0091.
Calvin Smith MA
Licensed Professional Counselor

]]><![CDATA[I Like Someone but They are Already in a Committed Relationship...What do I do?]]>Thu, 08 Sep 2016 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/i-like-someone-but-they-are-already-in-a-committed-relationshipwhat-do-i-do

"I have fallen in love with someone that is already in a committed relationship. How did I get here and What do I do about it?"

[Answer]
PART of falling in love with someone who is committed to someone else I think can find it's roots in an underdeveloped value system. Why? Because an undeveloped value system does not support the desires a person has for long term commitment that is sought after consistently. Before we go further...I get it....nobody likes to be told their value system may be a little off....but let me explain further...the instability found at one level of compromise in a person's values presents itself in an unstable manner at the more advanced stages of relationship. My thoughts are this...You can't really satisfy your needs or someone else's if you don't have a stable frame of reference to draw from .... Beliefs, behaviors, and even actions can emerge with chaotic unpredictability to undermine efforts to have a decent relationship. The work of understanding your value system along with the "kinks" in it can help you resolve the issues that navigate your choices for the committed over the available.

Beliefs..
For example...I mean...if a person wants a true relationship but doesn't believe they can have that true relationship, then they will act out what they believe not what they want. If by chance they really go for what they want, they will not have the insight to keep it without a belief system that supports their desire. The belief system can in most instances be identified through the values one practices. In other words...the person gets down with the "unfavorable relationship" because they don't believe they can do better.
Checking our beliefs about what we can truly have can become a marker to evaluate why we allow some things that would otherwise be an aversion to our desired goals. Equally it can help to identify traits that would make a person compromise their true desires for a quick fix instead, regardless of how wreckless it may be. The person may in reality be dealing with self esteem issues stemming from a person's past or under exposure to positive experiences that support a strong belief system which constitutes the values that govern our choices.

Crisis, Stress, and Distortions

Crisis and stress has a way of distorting the focus of what a person thinks they want without appropriate evaluation and processing. Another reason for a person to get connected with a good counselor to help them process through these unproductive belief patterns so that they can finally get on to the life they want to live instead of living a lie because they don't believe they can have anything else. The Bible says faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. Faith is now but growing in faith is also a process that confronts old systems of belief with new. Then demands the surrender of old ways revealed as no longer relevant. C.

Are you having challenges in this area?
Schedule an appointment: (405)748-0091.
Now accepting clients.
Calvin Smith MA
Licensed Professional Counselor

]]><![CDATA[I Don't Like His Friends...]]>Thu, 01 Sep 2016 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/i-dont-like-his-friends

I don't like his friends. They always doing the wrong stuff and making bad decisions...He wants me to be his girl. Should I get into a relationship with him?

[Answer]
It's not impossible but it could take some real consideration about what you want from the relationship. What are the ingredients for having a relationship that you'll be happy and satisfied with? You have to determine this with the information you have available. Here are some points I'd like to raise for boththe potential boyfriend as well as the girl friend...
[To the man...]
Following the wrong crowd, wrong influences, and not having the insight to build a better something for yourself can lead to a ladies lack of confidence in your ability to lead them.
If your foundation is not secure (working toward what is safe, practical, supportive, and empowering)..how can you expect to bring another into that world successfully?
Work on self, evaluate what is healthy and a good approach for your life to acheive real stability then in process incude another seems like the better approach ..
You may discover that your lives compliment each other in facilitating an environment for growth. It becomes more apparent in this process.. rather than being destructive. If in process of considering if it could work out, you discover that re-evaluation of your current life choices is necessary to achieve mutual greatness...so be it.
[To the Men and Women]
Cheap thrills are not the same as having a dependable person to rely on and be accountable too. The merits of a true candidate for relationship I think are the person's efforts to work on themselves..
"Work on self" means evaluating what is healthy and a good approach for your life to acheive real stability then in process of your growth include another in it..
My genuine thoughts about relationships are that your lives should compliment each other's goals and interests rather than being destructive to them. If in process, re-evaluation is necessary to achieve mutual greatness...so be it.
Can you identify these in the suitor? Does his personal choices reflect stability, support, and a foundation that you have peace with? Are his associations bringing him up or pulling him down? Do you have enough influence in his life to encourage him to be more? Or him yours? Perhaps the real issues of what the budding relationship will need to grow can be discovered as you both explore your values in more detail. Often a good counselor can help to clarify your efforts together.
Want to explore this in more detail?
Schedule an appointment: (405)748-0091.
Calvin Smith MA
Licensed Professional Counselor

]]><![CDATA[For the Grieving]]>Wed, 24 Aug 2016 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/for-the-greiving

For the Grieving:
Rejection by someone does not mean God doesn't have more for you. While you cannot control the choices of other people, you can refocus towards what is important for you.

Starting this process means...to look at what God has for you not at what you lost. Begin rebuilding your life by finding joy in what you have now. Develop it. There are more great things in store for your life. God doesn't give up on any of us and keeps us all close to his heart.
Scripture Reference:
Philippians 4:8-9New International Version (NIV)
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

]]><![CDATA[Is My Friend a Hater?]]>Wed, 03 Aug 2016 07:00:00 GMThttps://www.emergingchristians.com/winning-at-relationships1/is-my-friend-a-hater

Is My Friend a Hater?

If it bothers the person to see you smile or have relief take a good look at what they are saying before you write them off....

[Answer]

If it bothers the person to see you smile or have relief take a good look at what they are saying before you write them off.... They may not be hating..They may have seen some things that you haven't. It's better to listen with a healthy consideration but ultimately let God be at the core of your choices. Better to be smart than to regret having listened. Keep your joy..but be smart about what is really making you happy.
People with different perspectives reveal where they are coming from if you give them your ear. We are a community people. Don't be a loner in tough times. After you have heard them make your call whether they will be the influence that will navigate your life's decisions.

A good counselor can also help you find some important information about what you really want and how to get it.
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Schedule an appointment.
(405)748-0091.

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