This is a deep dive into the history of the wedding bouquet and the traditions that shape our thinking about marriage. What are the practical applications that can help marriages to thrive?

Let’s start with a look at the history of the bouquet. Did you know that wedding bouquets were seen as a method to ward off evil spirits from the union? Of course there is another tradition says that the person that catches the bouquet would be the next in line for marriage. This is where our discussion begins.

What you believe influences how you make choices in a relationship. In psychology we have two terms I would like to include in this discussion. They are internal and external locus of control. External locus of control is believing that things happen outside of your control. Internal locus of control is believing that nothing happens beyond your direct efforts. The reality is that a person may find themselves somewhere in the middle between what they can and cannot control. Understanding the difference can assist a person in navigating their expectations for what fosters a mutually sustainable relationship.

Don’t start a relationship with superstition. Start your relationship with reasonable expectations of your partner that are clarified through discussion and corresponding commitment. As easy as that sounds, sometimes there are cognitive distortions, defense mechanisms from prior experiences and other communication barriers that can impede the process of clarification. My relationship skill building class is designed to assist you in acquiring the skills that will help you to successfully nurture your relationship.

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We now offer evening and weekend classes to support you in various aspects of your life. Emerging Christians approaches life from a holistic perspective incorporating the values of faith, love, hope, and God's promises in accordance with practical family supports.​

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Do you have an unusually difficult time getting along with your partner? Like they just don't get you? Do you find more often than not that you are more involved in trying to appease your partner than enjoy them?
 
In this segment I am going to ask you some questions that I think are worth considering for the redirection and development of  a healthy relationship. They require your honesty. If you can relate to these kinds of experiences in your relationship then more importantly, what can you do to make your experiences better?  First things first, let's start with the questions...

The Questions...
1. Is your partner overly jealous?
2. Is your partner possessive?
3. Does your partner try to control your resources (money, transportation, access to phones)?
4. Does your partner try to control where you go?
5. Does your partner try to control who you talk too?
6. Does your partner try to monitor your conversations?  (continued - )


(​Is your relationship abusive..continued)

7. Does your partner hit, belittle, or humiliate you for saying things they don't agree with?
8. Does your partner argue with you because you don't believe the way they do?
9. Does your partner blame you for circumstances that are beyond your control?
10. Does your partner put pressure on you for sex?
11. Does your partner use alcohol excessively?
12. Is your partner using drugs and clearly you can see a difference in them when they are using?
13. Does your partner say you are the reason for them acting the way the do?
14. Were past relationships as bad or worse in your or your partners relationship history?
15. Do you isolate from your friends or family because of him/her?
16. Does your partner make jokes that embarrass, humiliate, or shame you?
17. Are you afraid that they will hurt you if you leave them?
18. Does your partner have an explosive temper when you disagree with them or things don't go their way?
19. Have your friends warned you to leave?
20. Do you have physical fights in front of your children, friends, neighbors, family members, in private?
21. Have police been called in to control an event between the two of you?


If you answered yes to any of the questions listed above, perhaps you can benefit from professional relationship counseling services that may help you to resolve your challenges.

Do you want more from your relationship experiences? Call  (405)-748-0091.

Ever wanted more from your relationship but you have been feeling like it has been a lost cause? Here are a few simple steps that might make a big difference in the quality of your relationship.  See this blog topic exclusively at www.emergingchristians.com .

Resurrection of the Man in Your Life:

Speak life to your man and he will manifest it.
Speak life you say? What does that mean?

* Say that you believe in him.
* Tell him that you appreciate him.
* Thank him for going the distance for believing in you.
* Tell him that your happiest days are the one's you make together.
* Empowering your man can facilitate a change that cannot be created by any other person besides you.
* Believe in yourself and empower the experience you desire to have with the man in your life.
* Your Relationship is not dead. It is awakening with your awareness. Want more?


Sign up for my relationship curriculum.
It's time for a different kind of change. A positive one.
(405)748-0091.

While the approach I am discussing today may not be a fail safe way to prevent miscommunication and other challenges influenced by drug usage, it may give you an approach towards managing your relationship's development more effectively and help to stabilize your experiences within your relationship.
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As you are planning to have a stable life that you can share with another it is important to understand how addiction affects you. 

You'll find the rest of this article in the membership area. (not a member? Join today)

Need a relationship counseling session? Schedule an appointment by phone (405)748-0091.

Taking Him Back Or Letting Him Go:

​Girl please...taking him back is not the hardest thing a person has ever done in their lives. Aren't you ready to start living?
A man that is truly convinced of what he wants and is asking for you to walk beside him in life is different than a man begging for forgiveness because he was caught deviating and has alot to lose. Two different standards and two different ways to evaluate the heart's context.

​Don't let pride mess up your ability to see where that man in your life is coming from. Everybody has a process for coming to a conclusion about what they want in life and what they don't. The room you give yourself for growth make sure you are equally able to extend that to that man too. This said...the better at fairness you become, the easier it can be for you to discern when someone is not being fair with you. Then make your call...fostering strength through your decisions is better than wreckless rage because of hurt and disappointment in my personal opinion. You have alot to live for, but sometimes that life you want means you gotta fight through the stuff you don't want. I bet farmers wish their crops were ready for the picking as soon as they got the land but the reality is they have to cultivate it first...eventually the harvest will be there..but first comes the work.
Want more? Start by enrolling in my relationship curriculum available now.
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Call 405-748-0091 for more information.
Invite by: Calvin Smith, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor,
Smith Therapy and Consulting.