After the Relationship...The Aftermath.

After the Relationship..
The Aftermath...
It takes a mature person to know if they are ready to move on towards seeing other people or not after two people have decided to part ways. If the person was violent, it may be in the person's best interest to develop a safety plan for them and theirs....if they weren't it is still important for them to recognize their place in the grieving process... 

​The loss of a relationship that a person invested so much of their heart and dreams in can make them feel awkward, even a little taken back and discouraged about their time, energy, effort lost as well as their ability to make a sound decision for choosing a partner that will do right by them. It's important to develop a healthy filter by distinguishing the difference between what factors played into what's on you (what was your failings) versus what was on the other person. Maybe it was nothing that you did at all...maybe it was just them in their own values and needs that lead them to other personal choices....(that they also have a right to have)... Picking up the pieces of your life means more than just waiting for someone else to come around to decide if they want you back. It is also an opportunity for self development....In my opinion ...it means taking the steps to further understand yourself...realigning all those thoughts, feelings, dreams, and visions you may have had in a way that you can move forward and thrive in your life and relationships regardless of these unexpected changes. Letting that person have their own life and taking back your own in that same process of respect so that you can be an asset to another when you are ready to entertain the development of another relationship. Confidence in ones own ability to make sound decisions that govern their own relationship is something that isn't negotiable when it comes to having a satisfying relationship.

As for an interested party waiting in the wings...a person that "get's you" will be able to understand your process and be patient and supportive with you not demanding and forceful....even if it means that in the end you may not choose to be with them. They may be just a part to play in your healing process of rediscovering yourself...as a friend. But a real friend that cares about you probably will accept that and be ok with you anyway...just my 2 cents for a general perspective of course.. if a person is having challenges getting over a relationship, through a change in status.... counseling can also help to make things clearer. Praying for your peace. C.
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Would you like to talk on a personal level about what your going through? Relationship challenges?

I am currently accepting clients.
(405) 748-0091.

Calvin Smith, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor,
Ordained Christian Counselor