Redirecting Encounters with Aggressive, Unhappy People:

Redirecting Aggressive People that Have alot On Their Minds:

Just like the title says...sometimes when you encounter an aggressive person, they are aggressive because they have alot on their minds. More so,... 

it becomes evident that maybe God is not at their foremost thoughts during times of transition, change, and challenge. 

Sometimes people get in fear, doubting that God really can come through for them. Entangled with bitterness, resentments, and other diversions from God consciousness, they find themselves stagnated by cross attitudes and less than honorable ways of achieving their means. Anyone and anything becomes expendable to the belief that they are the only one that can make what they want a reality. God isn't even a distant thought for such a stressed and overtaxed perspective. This perspective becomes evident in their attitude, demeanor and interaction with others.

As a Christian....what is the way to effectively minister to a person of such demeanor? Sarcastic, bitter, even sadistic...how do you deflect the negative, and position yourself for forward, Christ centered, thinking when confronted with a whirlwind of negativity?... Here are a few ways I believe can help the believer to overcome the stress of their encounter, lie of giving in to these kind of perspectives, and empowering positive change in a stressed person's life to will make things better:

1. Let no corrupt communication come out of your mouth. Don't go negative just because someone else is in that zone. Let the peace of God rule your heart and mind.

Ephesians 4:29King James Version (KJV)
29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

2. Let the peace of God rule in your heart. Remember where you came from.  Remembering what Christ Jesus has done for you in calling you out of darkness into his marvelous light can go a long way towards helping you to preserve your peace in encounters with difficult people.  Recalling the significant encounter that you had with the Lord. When he released you from the pressure of guilt, shame, and condemnation offering you forgiveness and a second chance at life through the mercy of God. The feeling you had as you were washed by the encounter with God that transformed your thinking from rebellion to love, an awareness of acceptance, and empowering a conformity to the image of Christ Jesus through relationship with God. Truly the transformation that took place in you may not have happened in the stress person you've encountered. Everybody has a process. Maintaining your peace in Christ does not only acts as a life preserver, it is an effective tool to minister through the grace he has given to you. If his grace can work on you, "and you know how bad you were" it can work on anybody... 

Colossians 3:15King James Version (KJV)
15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.

2. Make help available, but don't force yourself on anyone.
It's not a shame to need help. Everybody needs help every now and then. You didn't get where you are by yourself, God brought you there and it is God that will continue to lead you. Remember that before you pass your final verdict on a person. If a person chooses not to experience your brand of wonderful they are entitled to make that choice. You cannot make any one do anything they don't want too. As a Christian, our goals are to point others to God through Jesus. To extend his promise of salvation without fear of reprisal. God works on the details.

John 3:16King James Version (KJV)
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

3. Be natural, pray knowing that God hears your prayers. You don't have to learn to tap dance to get someone to like you...some things just aren't about you at all....

Ephesians 4:15King James Version (KJV)
15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

1 Thessalonians 5:17-20New American Standard Bible (NASB)
17 pray without ceasing; 18 in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 19 Do not quench the Spirit; 20 do not despise prophetic [a]utterances.

Matthew 10:13Amplified Bible (AMP)
13 If [the family living in] the house is worthy [welcoming you and your message], give it your [blessing of] [a]peace [that is, a blessing of well-being and prosperity, the favor of God]. But if it is not worthy, take back your blessing of peace.

Matthew 5:44New International Version (NIV)
44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

4. Remember your purpose:
This is what I think is a healthier behavioral approach in addressing a person that tries to make a mockery of you because of their own angry and defiant projections..

2 Things about this fourth point:

1." Don't ask me to pull a rabbit out of my hat." You are not here to do tricks for a negative, angry person.. To love them in Christ and point them to him through your actions is your only charge. Partner with God in how to do this effectively. The wise counsel of those skilled in the word can help you work through your best approach.

2. Don't buy into or accept definitively a fabrication designed only to justify their own rebellion. Often the delusion of the thought "there is no hope." causes people to lash out in ways that aren't true and lack moral code. Tell yourself..."Don't make me to be something that I am not to appease your own rejection of the values I incorporate into my lifestyle. Your lies will not save you from fairness and decency. There is a civil world. God commands the blessing on me irregardless of your attempts to make me a partaker of your dissatisfaction."

5. Lead them to helpful resources that may be available to them if the opportunity rises but keep your distance and just pray for them otherwise. Remember that your hand is not the only hand that God is using to reach that person. God still loves them too. So hold your position in Christ and do not err in the faith.
​
1 Corinthians 3:6-9New International Version (NIV)
6 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. 7 So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8 The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. 9 For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.

Peace be with your spirit.

Written by Calvin L. Smith, MA, LPC,
​Christian Family & Relationship Counselor

---

Anger Management? More InFO